Transcript below:
Lana (00:02):
So it was really funny when you messaged me and you’re like are we having wine? Because I was literally
pouring myself a coffee and I said, it’s noon, but I need a wine like nobody’s business. So I’m actually
going to message Ryan right now and say, bring me a wine.
(00:29):
Okay, please…Please, a glass of wine with my deepest appreciation.
Laura (00:49)
Pour yourself one while you’re at it just for the trouble.
Lana (00:51)
And pour yourself one while you’re at it. Perfect. This is the message. We’ll see what I get. One while
you’re at it. Okay. So what are we talking about today? Today we’re just going to, we’re going to chat.
We’re going to shoot the shit about somebody very special in our lives.
Laura (01:07)
I like him a lot actually. I do. I really do. I’m quite fond of him.
Lana (01:14):
Today we’re going to talk about Santa Claus. Yes. He’s a magical fellow.
Laura (01:22)
He is. So if only everybody, if only every man be like Santa Claus <laugh>. Show up only when you want
him too.
Lana (01:27)
God, that is not the visual I needed on this Friday afternoon.
Laura (01:32)
I have seen some pretty cute Santa Claus before in my time, although they didn’t have most of their
clothes on… That was magical.
Lana (01:45)
<laugh> All right, so we’re going to talk about Santa Claus today. So if you have little ears in the room
maybe download this episode for later. That’s right. And Merry Christmas <laugh>.
(01:58):
Okay, so let’s start. Let’s woman up with Santa Claus. Let’s do it. Let’s woman up with Santa Claus.
Sounds so bad, but hit it.
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Laura (02:10)
All right. So today we are talking about should you, I hope kids aren’t listening now. Should you lie to
your children about Santa Claus being not real? Or should you tell them the truth? Keep up the magic.
The magic. Yeah, because it, I think every parent has that conundrum, that difficult choice where
especially when kids get to a certain age and certain kids are more perceptive than others.
Lana (02:37)
Yeah. I feel like some kids figure it out. Especially the kids who have older siblings.
Laura (02:40)
What do you tell your kids?
Lana (02:43)
Well, honestly, I never… I said, if you don’t believe you don’t receive.
Laura (02:45)
Yeah, it always was yours too. And even when your oldest would get a little questionable, you’re like, if
you don’t believe you don’t receive.
Lana (02:56):
So I think my oldest, so she’s 15 now, but she was probably around, I’m guessing 12, to be honest, which
I thought was late considering the world and where we’re at and their access to things. But if she knew
it, she played along, which I loved. That’s her character’s with it. Because we have, yeah, she has
younger siblings, she has younger cousins. And we always said, you need to roll with it. But then there’s
these celebrities. I mean, you know how I feel about Kristen Bell. Oh, we love Bell. She is my total girl
crush. And I loved when she came out and said that she and Dak Sheppard would never ever buy into
that lie. And I think, or maybe they did at the beginning and they said, no, we can’t do this. We can’t tell
our kids that a big fat man’s coming down.
Laura (03:42):
I get that when they’re like 12 years old when they’re at that age where it’s like, okay, this is getting a
little bit much now. And I mean, that’s when critical thinking skills really start to develop and everything
else. And they’re like, this doesn’t seem real. Some man comes down my chimney or magically uses the
key on the door that they sell at Walmart. And these elves that are all over the shelves at Walmart are
showing up at my house. <laugh>
Lana (04:10)
I got this feeling, somebody’s watching me. All I can think of is that <laugh>, every time I see them on
those freaking elves, I’m like, oh my God, it’s so creepy. It’s so creepy. But do you do it? You do. You buy
the little fucking outfits for these elves.
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Laura (04:24)
But we do it for behavioral coercion too. We’re like, no, you’re going to be as safe…
(04:25):
Go back. Okay. Oh, behavioral coercion. Okay. Explain.
Lana (04:30)
Well, why, honestly, what other reason do parents do the elves for? Sure, It’s cute and it’s magical and
they’re playing in the toilet paper snow. But no, we do it to be like, you’re elves fucking watching you.
You better behave <laugh>. It’s so true. And this is like, it’s absolutely true. And even for us, you
remember mom growing up? She would, yeah, fucking genius. This woman, she told us that the seaguls
were Santa’s birds. The birds were watching. She was, to this day, the frigging birds are watching.
Laura (05:00)
It would be July…
Lana (05:08):
The birds were everywhere. Those were everywhere. <laugh>. Now that buys into the whole conspiracy
theories out there. You’ve heard, I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of this, that somebody… it’s a major
conspiracy theory where people believe that the birds are actually spies of the government. And it’s an
actual thing. Oh, there were people. So it’s like, well mom was the OG, <laugh>
Laura (05:35)
Santa’s birds… and be like so traumatizing. We’d be like, I don’t know, fighting or being stupid. And the
birds are watching. They see you, they’re watching. I know it. And we’ll be so scared cause it’s July. And
I’m like fearful for months that what I did in July when I hit my brother was going to make me not get
presents in December.
Lana (05:55)
The fear of God was put into you that Santa may not show up on that morning. And that was, I don’t
know.
(05:59):
Now I look back on it, I’m like, man, that is freaking awful. That’s really awful. And yet so smart. So smart
<laugh>. Well, and that’s what these elk on the shelfs are. I was going to, yeah, let’s transition to Elf on
the shelf. Because when I started that tradition with our oldest, it was fairly new on the market. But
Holy Hannah. Now my kids are like, well so and so came to the house and they had an astronaut
costume. I like, well,
Laura (06:28)
And we should get to that in a minute too… the bar, but the bar of what? Christmas expectations and
everything. But these Elves and you have three of them. You got one for each kid. <laugh>. I have two.
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Right? So you got three kids. I don’t know if parents that have more than that, but I run out of ideas all
the time.
(06:47):
And then my Instagram is flooded in December with Elf on the shelf ideas. And that’s the only thing that
pops up. Because I am dying to make these elves do something cute and funny to keep up with what the
Elves at schools are doing.
Lana (07:05)
I know it’s a lot. And so one year I involved my husband because I need some help here. I can’t do this all
the time.
Laura (07:10)
Well, he should be involved in it <laugh>.
Lana (07:11)
Well, but for the first little while, it wasn’t really a big thing until Pinterest took over. And so it wasn’t
huge. It’s like, oh it moves. Yay. Well now they’re like, oh, driving the Barbie car and doing all the things.
So my husband had a lot of fun with it. He found the Barbie toilets and put raisin gloss sets in the toilet
and was like, oh, the elves are regular.
(07:33):
Honest to God, He came up with all this shit and it was great and it was funny. And the kids lived for it.
Honestly, they lived for it. So I don’t know, it’s a toss up for me between like, oh my gosh, we buy into
this hype so much and we fall. We’re doing exactly what every other parent in the grade three
classroom’s doing. But it’s also, are we doing the right thing?
Laura (08:00)
Even these elves… we’re lying to our children that these elves are from the North Pole and that Santa
sent them, we’re lying to them. This man comes down our chimney, this man, even the songs he sees
you when you’re sleeping <laugh> like my daughter can barely sleep at night because she’s afraid of the
creek in the house and the snow falling off the roof and now all of a sudden it’s okay for a man to come
in our house.
Lana (08:23):
Right. Never mind the fact that we have Fort Knox security. But guess what, <laugh> No, no, no, no. He’s
magic <laugh>. He’s magic. Let’s talk about the mall photos for a second. Because Laura and I, since the
time Laura was born and my mom religiously would always ensure we had the mall photo with Santa.
And in fact, sidebar cute note, I was one of Santa’s elves one year back when we’d actually had film
photos. <affirmative>. Can you imagine the gong show of that? So I would sit there and I would fill out
the forms for people and then I would pass them to the photographer. I was Santa’s helper and I would
hand out the actual photos. This isn’t happening in real time. This is happening like a week later, people
would come and pick them up after they were processed. And half the time the kids’ eyes were closed
and oh my God…
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Laura (09:15)
I was Santa’s helper at Magic Mike <laugh>.
Lana (09:18):
Yeah, you were we same <laugh>, samesies. I’ll trade you experiences <laugh>. But there was something
magical about Magic Mike, but also about the reindeer on the roof. I remember going to the mall and
being like, oh, do you see that light on the top of the mall <affirmative>
Laura (09:30)
And looking for Rudolph’s nose in the sky…
all the time and even to this day and that we do Christmas Eve together. And we get that nowadays it’s
all technical. We boot up the Santa Tracker and the kids look Norad Tracker, Santa’s in Brazil, Santa’s
here, right, wherever. And they love it. And it makes him go to,
Lana (10:100)
And then we use it because we’re like, you only have three hours to go to sleep. That’s it. If you’re not
asleep, He’s not coming. <laugh>
(10:09):
Skipping, skipping our houses.
Laura (10:10)
He’s going to go to the Good Kids House. <laugh>,
(10:20)
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Lana (11:00)
Okay, so that, okay, we have to bring in Doug here. Doug, our pod father Doug. Yeah, Doug, you have,
yeah, we all have children. Your children are grown now, but what were your traditions? When did you
talk?
Doug (11:17):
<laugh>. We never had to talk to them about Santa. They figured it out.
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Laura (11:20):
How old were they when they figured it out?
Doug (11:23):
Well, so the difference is the eldest is two years on the twins. And I think when the eldest figured it out,
he had to have been six or seven I think. So he just kind of told them right away and then they went
through that. They didn’t tell us because they didn’t think they would get the gifts.
Lana (11:44):
Oh, the shame…
Doug (11:45):
So they kept it quiet for a little while.
Laura (11:46):
I kept it quiet too. I remember, cause I snoop from my Christmas presents every single year. I was all,
every year to the point, the point where mom, remember the year we found Nintendo… that was the
year I found out Santa wasn’t real. That’s how I found out is I found the Nintendo behind the washing
machine and then it was underneath the Christmas tree wrapped from Santa. And I put two and two
together. But it got to the point where, mom had to lock all the presents in the trunk of the car and
she’d hide this spare key. But I was so good at finding everything that I found the spare key <laugh>. I
was bad.
Lana (12:20)
I’m like, you need to go to therapy now for that. You have a weird association with Nintendo and finding
out…
Laura (12:29)
I need therapy for a lot of things. Not just Nintendo….
Lana (12:32)
True facts. <laugh>. Well just put it on the list. Do you still have traditions, Doug? Do you guys still do
something traditional? Do you still give the kids presents from Santa even though they’re teenagers?
Doug (12:38):
We totally do. And I read night before Christmas. Yeah. Oh every night. The thing about not telling your
kids, it seems the argument is because don’t lie to your kids <affirmative>. But how do you explain that
Santa brought the neighbor kid. PS5 <affirmative>. But I only got a Nintendo or a PS4. How do you
explain?
Lana (13:01):
that inequality?
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Doug (13:03):
Billy was a little better this year. <affirmative>.
Lana (13:05):
Oh hold on. My wine is being delivered. Hold on. The door’s locked. Hold on.
Laura (13:15)
No, I totally agree though because that bar gets set so high by people with privilege and then all of a
sudden other children and you are getting to the best of their parents’ abilities. Yet someone gets a PS5.
And someone get’s a Reese’s Pieces, advent calendar. I don’t know, whatever it is. It is very unequal
though. So what do you do? I know there needs to be a standard, a Santa standard and even for the
Easter Bunny and everything else, there needs to be a standard. It’s hard. And that’s why, you know
what we always do…Because my kids do believe in Santa still. And we do believe in the magic of Santa.
But <affirmative>, I always do the big gifts from us and Santa brings something…
(13:59):
But it’s never the big gift under the tree… Yeah. I don’t want my kids going to school being like, I got this
because we are privileged enough to get them a larger gift at Christmas. But I don’t want that being the
bar for other people. And I remember when you told me that and I had that conversation with my
husband and I said, well what about this? And he’s like, and he didn’t buy into it. He wasn’t here for it.
He was like, no, we’ll do what we want to do. And I was like, oh, but that’s so soul crushing to the next
kid on the block. <affirmative>, who hears that they got such and such from Santa right? And I mean
that standard is still there. That difference of inequality, what the second gift is or whatever else.
(14:38):
But I just try to make it simple yet exciting.
Lana (14:45)
Well, as we’re having this conversation and I just went outside the door to get my wine that my husband
dropped off of me. Thank you. I just noticed that our eight year old is sitting on the couch out there. So
that’s great. Maybe it’s going to take a podcast.
Laura (14:55)
She <laugh>, she dear therapist, my mom was doing a podcast once, told the world that Santa wasn’t
real. And I overheard…
Lana (15:10)
We’re going to fuck him up aren’t we?
Laura (15:15)
oh, we’re going to fuck ’em up no matter what. We’re going to fuck ’em up. They’re going to be fucked
up. But so is everyone. We’ll, it’s all good.
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Lana (15:20)
So do you lie to them or don’t you? I think at the end of the day you have to do what’s right for your
family. But I love keeping a little of the magic alive.
Laura (15:29):
I think that’s so important. I love the magic piece. And there’s people that argue that you can have the
magic of Christmas without lying to your kids. And then you get the psychologist that will come in and
say lying to your children and them finding out that it was a lie actually increases the chance of them
lying. And I say this to my son all the time. I’m like, don’t lie to me because the minute you lie to me, you
lose my trust. And he’s really good. He will own up when he does something wrong or anything. And
he’ll get very upset if he’s accused of doing something that he didn’t do because he knows. He’s like, I
don’t want to lose your trust. I don’t want to lie to you. And yet here I am being like, don’t lie to me,
you’ll lose my trust. Don’t lie to me…<laugh> <laugh>. Do you see Santa in the sky? I have a Santa cam
on my tree. On your ornament. On your tree. Yes you do. Sticker of a lens.
Lana (16:25)
I bought it for you. I bought it for you. By the way, what do you think, Doug?
Doug (16:27):
I do have a thing about Santa being an old white dude.
Laura (16:31):
It’s true.
Doug (16:33):
That does kind of bother me.
Lana (16:34):
An old white dude, <affirmative>. Yes, exactly. Yeah, it is bothersome. And do you feel like among
people of color, do you feel like they recognize their Santa in their family as a black Santa or an
indigenous Santa? What do you think?
Doug (16:53):
<laugh> I have no idea. I think it’s an issue. Something out the Victorian Age, that’s playing out in 2022.
Lana (17:02):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative> totally agree with that. And that makes me really sad. <affirmative>. So how do
you blend those lines and make it more inclusive and carry on traditions? And then somebody’s like,
well, your Santa doesn’t look like my Santa. It’s awful.
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Laura (17:25)
Well, and that’s even the Santas at the mall. It’s not on the same racial level, but we always say, and
people, kids are like, how is Santa here? I’m like, well, it’s one of Santa’s helpers. And I always say to my
kids, we actually don’t know what the real Santa looks like because we don’t know. I’m a master fucking
liar at the core <laugh> because I don’t like, that’s the thing, you get one Santa that looks like this and
one Santa looks like that and one Santa, that beard comes off. And it’s true.
Lana (17:50)
Yeah, it’s true. And we kind of developed that too in our family. We just kept saying, well, when you see
them at the mall, these are just, they’ve been appointed by Santa because the kids are fucking smart.
They have so many questions. And then we become, like I said, where you become master liars. Doug’s
nodding his head. Yeah.
Doug (18:10):
Well we do. But a part of me wonders we’re going to lie to our kids about something aren’t we? I mean,
come on. Did either of you have any boyfriends before you met your husband?
Lana (18:21):
None.
Laura (18:25)
Didn’t have to lie…<laugh>
Lana (18:28):
<laugh>. It is very different now though, isn’t it? Like you’re right. My daughter went to her first high
school party the other day and I knew where she was. It was like a bush party. There is no freaking way
that I would’ve ever told mom, I’m going to a bush party. This is where I’ll be.
Laura (18:45)
she would’ve strapped you in your room. There’s not a chance…
Lana (18:50)
Yeah, I would’ve been locked up. I would’ve been locked up. So I think it is different. And I love that
there’s a bit more transparency on some things, but I also believe that regardless of the state of 2022,
we have to keep some kind of whimsy <affirmative> in our lives. And Magic. Yeah, magic.
Laura (19:10)
Yeah. I mean, kids play make believe all the time, even though they know it’s believe, they will still play
make believe. So some people would argue that if they’re going to play house and they’re going to play
this, they can also handle that Santa Claus isn’t real, while still loving the whimsy and the magic and the
make believe of it.
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Lana (19:27):
I have a question for you, Laura. So Laura used to be a grade one to three teacher. Am I right?
<affirmative>? So what would you say the number was among those children? You were in a, tell a
background on the school and the children that you taught. You were in a behavioral program. These
kids came from some very difficult backgrounds. Did you feel like the sense of believing was heightened
or lowered?
Laura (19:55)
You know what? I had, the program that I taught was a program for children with behavioral disorders.
And there was a wide range of families of the program that I taught. And so it was very differing. There
was some families that just, they didn’t even talk about it. And there were some families that went full
bore and loved the idea of Santa Claus, and then there was the average kids that kind of hummed and
hawed about it.
(20:24):
But I do find that of the kids that I taught, they had older siblings that seem to break the magic for them
or someone in their life or their family. And so they were much more critical about the thought. And
they were just like, well, Santa’s not real. And a little more, I would say less magical. Yeah. Yeah.
Lana (20:55)
That’s sad to me. It is sad. But it also shows socioeconomics, <affirmative>, and some of the bigger
factors at play. <affirmative>. I think at the end of the day, it also boils down to traditions. You and I
have so many traditions, especially at Christmas because of our mom. She actually, okay, we have to
bring this up.
Laura (21:10)
So, oh my God, which one are we going with?
Lana (21:15)
Yeah, which story? So every Christmas Eve, our mom would make quiche and we call it Christmas
quiche. She’s laughing.
Laura (21:24)
Oh God, I know where this is going.
Lana(21:23):
So Christmas quiche is a staple to this day. So our parents have passed away, but Laura still makes every
Christmas Eve, she makes me a Christmas. Christmas isn’t Christmas without quiche. We have to have
the damn quiche. So my mom, I think it was Christmas morning, I think we were newly married and we
show up and everybody’s having mom’s made breakfast brunch. Yeah. Quiche brunch. All the trimmings.
Amazing. And <laugh>, I can’t even say it. We go to get into this gorgeous quiche, and if you know what
quiche is, it’s like, it’s a frittata, an egg, and ham and egg. Broccoli, broccoli, mushrooms, all the things
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it’s delicious. And so we go cut into it and there’s like, I don’t know, a little weird black dot. And then
another one, and then another one and another one. There’s fucking Beatles in the quiche.
Laura (22:21)
Beatles like Beetles Beetles!
Oh my God. Mom cried. She cried. She cried. She was devastated. But then she left. Then she cried, and
then she left. And then she was laughing cause she was crying. Crying. She was laughing. And she was
mad.
Lana (22:35)
She was mad. So obviously something got into the flour. And like she said, it was a brand new bag. So it
probably happened at the store, but she was so embarrassed. And so Christmas is ruined. Christmas is
ruin. Yeah. Christmas is ruined. Oh my God. Cause there was beetles in the quiche. And so <laugh>,
Laura (22:57)
Now I put little toy beetles on top. <laugh> <laugh>.
But it just goes to show how much weight hold in tradition and magic. And to mom, that was the magic
of Christmas, was creating this bonding moment for everyone to come and enjoy this quiche around the
table. And she’s like, I freaked it up.
Lana (23:15)
But, well, I think it’s also, it was so funny. It’s the way you’re raised. She came from a family where they
didn’t put a lot of weight into Christmas. And so she always felt like she was going to make up for that.
And boy did she ever, always decked out the house. It was beautiful. It was always a wonderful, even
when she was having a hard time or they didn’t have a lot of money, she would make sure that we had
great gifts under the tree, even if they were repurposed. I got her jewelry box one year from when she
was a kid. <affirmative>.
(23:39):
They didn’t have a ton of cash every year. And I mean, that’s so true to this day. So many families are
trying to make ends meet. And I think about that and I think about, God, how did they put us through
sports and hockey and food on the table and all these things. But she made those Christmases magical.
Laura (23:50)
And it was magical. It was completely magical. And had nothing to do with the dollar amount assigned to
it because never, I mean, half the things in our stocking were mandarin oranges, <laugh>. Like that’s
what we would get is mandarin oranges in our stocking and a few gifts.
Lana (24:10)
But that was also her tradition growing up from a Scandinavian family. And they would always have an
orange in the bottom of their, or maybe they were on sale at Safeway, I’m not sure. But <laugh>, maybe
a mixture of both.
(24:25):
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I don’t know. At the end of the day, it is tradition. We still bring out mom’s special China at Christmas.
We still sit down and we are grateful. Our grandmother says Grace, and we always secretly film her
while her eyes are closed. And she’s doing great.
Laura (24:45)
God, I love her. So film her. And if you guys follow us on Instagram, you’ll see we post grandma a lot
because she’s just the fricking best thing ever. But she’s so proper and polite and sweet. And she’ll come
out balls to the wall with something that just puts you on the floor. Yep. But what did she <laugh> say
last Christmas? Oh, I’ve got it on video. She thanked you for something and I was like, what the fuck?
That was me <laugh>.
Lana(25:07):
I love that one year she thank, she thanked God for Wes’ strong arms. Wasn’t it <laugh>? Cause she,
because he helped him. Helped her in through the, yeah. Bless her heart through the icy sidewalks.
Laura (25:20)
But those are the memories that we remember about Christmas is those little things and yeah,
<affirmative>
So make the magic for yourself, I think is what we’re saying. There’s no right or wrong here. What you, I
don’t know. But if you tell your kids that Santa’s not real, please don’t tell my kids <laugh>.
Lana (25:35)
Yeah. That’s a big thing right? I mean, that’d be my biggest lesson. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Keep it to
yourself. Let them discover. Let families do their own thing in their own time. Yeah. But Doug, do you
have any last words on your last remarks?
Doug (25:48):
Just a question. Are the birds actually watching us?
Lana (25:51):
Well, you tell us.
Doug (25:53):
I do think pigeons are liars.
Laura (25:55):
<laugh>. Well, they’re sent to birds, so maybe they’re cheers to that. Thanks, Doug. Thank you to stories
and strategies for always making us sound good? <laugh>. And to Doug, our pod father. Thank you sister
for a great conversation. If you enjoy today’s podcast, we invite you to share in the conversation, join us
on IG, on Facebook. We want to hear from you. I’d love for if there’s any holes we can fill, please by all
means, tell us some lies, <laugh>.
This transcript was exported on Nov 30, 2022 – view latest version here.
WU EP5 V1 FINAL (Completed 11/30/22)
Transcript by Rev.com
Page 13 of 2
Laura (26:35)
All right. Cheers. Merry Christmas