Maria Michelle’lee (00:00):
The vibe is so good here. I feel like I’m actually doing all the things that I want to do was which is have a
podcast and see myself on radio, huh?
Laura (00:13):
Oh my goodness. You are manifesting. There’s
Maria Michelle’lee (00:16):
Power in that. I just have that voice who’s not going to come on and listen to my voice.
Lana (00:20):
You do my lovely
Maria Michelle’lee (00:21):
Voice. Just laugh.
Lana (00:24):
Hello, sisters. Today we’re talking about boundaries. It’s something that Laura and I talk about quite a bit
because it’s definitely something I’m working on because apparently I don’t have any <laugh>. I know
Laura (00:35):
You need to tighten up your boundaries and I need to loosen mine, but hey, together, it makes sense.
Lana (00:41):
That’s right. That’s why we’re the sister Brent <laugh>.
Laura (00:42):
Today we are sitting down with a true queen. She is a motivational speaker
Lana (00:42):
Laura (00:47):
A D E I, which is diversity, equity, and inclusion coach. And her message is all about motivation and being
authentic,
Lana (00:55):
Stepping into yourself and speaking up. She is going to change the world. Let’s sit back and woman up
with Maria Michelle’lee. And honestly, you show up so authentically every day that when I go to your
Instagram, it’s just like, ugh. It’s like I get slapped in the face with positivity, which is a really good thing
nowadays.
Laura (01:22):
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And it is something with your voice, I swear. It’s like the kind of soothing, calming, refresher. So I love it
as well.
Maria Michelle’lee (01:29):
Well, thank you guys and thank you for having me on. Thank
Lana (01:34):
You for being on moment.
Laura (01:35):
Excited.
Lana (01:35):
Yes.
Maria Michelle’lee (01:36):
Yes. I’m like, I was like elated at times 20.
Lana (01:42):
Well, we are elated times infinity because
Maria Michelle’lee (01:47):
<laugh> infinity,
Lana (01:49):
Honestly, we are talking today with the one, the only Maria, Michelle Lee, you are a queen. Let’s start
off by saying that we thank you. We love what you stand for. You just show up in a way that is so
amazing, especially in 2022. And today we want to talk about boundaries with you. Ooh,
Maria Michelle’lee (02:12):
I don’t know if you guys are ready for that.
Lana (02:14):
I don’t think the world is ready for it, but you know what? Oh, we need to hear it.
Maria Michelle’lee (02:18):
Well, I’m here to deliver it whether they want to. Y’all better go run and go get your teaspoon of honey
because this is going to be bitter going down. I’ll just tell you that right now.
Laura (02:27):
Ooh, let’s dive in.
Lana (02:30):
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Alright. Maria is a d e i, diversity, equity, and inclusion coach, and she is also a beauty expert for the
BIPOC community. She does all the things. She wears all the hats, but what she does do is she speaks up.
Maria, what do you think is missing in society right now in 2022?
Maria Michelle’lee (02:53):
Let me just pull out my grocery list. Hold on. Right.
(02:58):
I think kindness at the top of it all is missing. I think love is missing. I don’t think we express enough
kindness, patience, joy and love, grace and understanding. All of a sudden everybody feels like
something’s always been taken from them. I do believe that everybody has a right to be heard, but I do.
I feel sometimes people feel like they would rather not be nice. They would rather not extend grace or
give a moment of understanding. Of course. And I mean, I’m not saying everybody, I know we all have
our challenging times, and I know that, but you just don’t know what’s going on in somebody’s hearts
and minds today. And for people just to come up on the attack and make everything an issue without, I
don’t know. There’s power in being still and offering grace. That’s just me. I mean, there some people
that you need to go off on though, but there are some people, just let
Laura (04:13):
Me just need
Maria Michelle’lee (04:13):
A little lesson. There are some people where you need to pull up your sleeves and step into their pity
pond and say, listen, not today, devil, not today. But why
Laura (04:23):
Do you think people are doing this? Why do you think this culture is so lacking in kindness and
appreciation?
Maria Michelle’lee (04:33):
Hurt people. Hurt people.
Laura (04:36):
And I think that today we’re in such autopilot mode, and it’s a selfish checklist. Today, I have to go to
work, I have to go to the gym. I have to do this. And so in your own head about what you have to do,
that you’re becoming oblivious to everyone else and what’s around you.
Maria Michelle’lee (04:50):
But do you though have to? No,
Laura (04:53):
You don’t. I think that’s people’s excuse. No, no.
Maria Michelle’lee (04:55):
And I think that’s, but hear me. Do you have to or do you get to? Mm-hmm.
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(05:02):
You see, if you take a moment and renew your mind today, I get the opportunity to go to work. Today is
a great day to have a great day today. I’m so happy and grateful that I have legs to move to get my
behind to the gym. Today, I get to today I have the opportunity to see how many people woke up this
morning and didn’t get to see how many people wake up in the morning and can’t hear. All of a sudden
how these things are just happening. All of a sudden, all of a sudden you feel numbness in your body
and you feel tingling in your fingers. These are all stress things that are, they’re like ticking time bombs. I
think. Listen, people don’t come for me. I am not a doctor. I am not a position. I just think stress. And
what I have to do today are all little, these little sensories, these little ticking time bombs that eat away
at your body. They eat away at your mind and they eat away at your soul. And so when these things are
eating at you, you become those things. You become irritable. You become quick to be upset you. You
know what I’m saying?
Lana (06:26):
What was the tipping point for you? Were you alwa, you didn’t always have this mindset? What point
did you say, I refused to accept anything else? I’m going to move forward with a different mindset.
Maria Michelle’lee (06:38):
I’m going to be honest with you. I did. I have this mindset I always had. It was always within me.
However, I let the people around me. Mm-hmm. Change that because I believe we all have this. I just
wasn’t solid enough. And the times that I was solid in my belief, how I’m showing up to you today, I
would always get questioned. Maria, you can’t always have a smile on your face. Yes I can. Or why do
you always get your head out of the cloud? Stop dreaming. Where do you think we’re living here? Think
about it. I would hear all of those things. And we have three children and my daughter we have two
boys and a girl. And my daughter was born smiling. And it reminded me of me because she’s always
smiling. So if we’re always smiling, it’s sometimes it’s our situations, our circumstance, our community
that will actually fight you to take that smile, that piece of joy, break it down so you can become this
thing that we shouldn’t be in the world today. So I would say I was always like this, but there have been
many times where I’ve allowed my community, my situation, my wherever I am in life to come and steal
that away from me. So I had to fight to get it back.
Laura (08:22):
And I think it’s so true because people talk about it and they say that’s just not reality to be happy all the
time. But no, it is reality. It’s my reality. And just because it’s not your reality doesn’t mean that it’s not
the way that I should be living my life to my fullest and my most authentic. So it’s almost like they’re
trying to break you down. Change how. Yeah. Break you down and see, make you see it a different way.
Lana (08:44):
You know what, Marie, you’ve talked, you’ve been very open about how your faith is extremely
foundational for you. And I love what you said in one of your posts, and I’m going to quote you said, God
did not create us to be doormats. And I literally sat back and at first I was just like, whoa. It kind of hit
me. And then I laughed, and then I was just like, I really sat in that for a second because it was very, very
powerful. Do you get flack for speaking up and speaking your mind and being a woman of faith?
Maria Michelle’lee (09:17):
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If I do, I dunno. They’re not going to come and tell me <laugh> like, and if they do, okay, and next. Yeah.
That’s how you feel. That is not how I feel. I do believe in Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. I do believe
there’s a God, I do believe there’s an a devil. I do believe there’s evil. And I do believe that there is good.
And we have a choice every day to decide who we’re going to serve. That’s just me. That’s just me. It’s
who I am. It’s my very being. I don’t know how to be anything. I don’t know how to be anything else. I
could stand outside and I could watch things go around and I could sense what is good and what is not.
So you can give me flack for it all you want, but I’m still going to be right here, solid Maria Michelle, I’m
going
Lana (10:14):
To do me. I’m going to
Maria Michelle’lee (10:15):
Do me unapologetically. So that’s who I am. That’s a part of who I am. It’s a big part of who I am
Lana (10:23):
To that George Floyd’s murder. Let’s dive into that for a second. I just want to hit on it because it’s so
fundamental, and I really looked to you during that time. I was routinely like Laura and I would talk
about, we were tuning to your reaction and your takeaways and what you were offering to the world at
that point was really powerful and continues to be. So how did that day in May, 2020 change you?
Maria Michelle’lee (10:56):
Oh, you mean about the post I wrote with regards to my family saying that we are not a trend, we are
not a trend, we are not trending. I think that was my opportunity to finally tell white people like we
hear, and we’re not going nowhere. We’re not your fashion faux pas. We’re not your latest coach bag.
We’re not your pair of amazing. Oh my God, you’re such great dancers. I wish I was black so I can dance.
You we’re not that We’re constantly profiled. Yes. In Canada, we’re constantly profiled in the banks to
see if we’re qualified to get the mortgage. We’re constantly, so George Floyd Taylor, and the many,
many, many, many names before,
Lana (11:48):
Right
Maria Michelle’lee (11:48):
Before and yes, and it’s happening in America, but it’s happened in Jamaica, it’s happened in Canada, it’s
happened in Antigua, it’s happened in England. It’s happened just for the colour of our skin. We’re
constantly being berated, raped and torn apart for centuries since the beginning of time. So that day I
decided, you know what? Enough is enough. We’re not going to have the table talk behind closed doors
anymore. I’m going to tell you what we talk about at the table. And if you can take it and you want to
learn from it, great. If you want to take it and you want to tear it apart and say that’s a you problem,
that’s on you. If you want to take it and figure out how you can do better, awesome. But I think I got
tired of having the conversation as many black, brown, indigenous people of color are tired of having
the conversation behind closed doors. So we are not just myself, but all of us started flinging open the
doors and say, now let me tell you how this isn’t going to happen anymore. This has to come to a stop.
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Laura (13:12):
Okay, Lana, I went on a deep dive of the hottest new podcast and I found a really good one. Oh, it’s
called the Mostly Awkward Podcast.
Lana (13:22):
Okay. How perfect. You had me at, you had Me at Awkward. I mean, I swear to God, I spend most of my
day with my foot firmly placed in the back of my throat. I awkward. May as well be my middle name. It’s
Laura (13:33):
So true. Mixing psychology and se self-acceptance with comedy. Join the host Courtney Betts and Emily
Brame on the Mostly Awkward podcast as they share stories and tips on how to survive and maybe even
benefit from being mostly awkward.
Lana (13:47):
I’m checking them out right now. New episodes are released every Tuesday and you can listen for free
on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Let’s get awkward with them.
Laura (14:02):
And I love that because you are using your social media platform for this reason, and you are using it to
spread your amazing voice. And I love every moment of everything that you put out there because it is
insightful to everyone. And I think it’s something that everyone needs to be listening to today.
Maria Michelle’lee (14:19):
Yeah. You
Lana (14:20):
You’ve said speak up and I just, I’ll never forget that. Just speak up and I mean there’s like talks about
Speak Up right now. I’m like, no, no, no, no, no. You got to hear Maria say it. <laugh>. Yeah.
Maria Michelle’lee (14:31):
What? Well, and the thing is, sorry to cut you off. It’s just like we don’t need white saviors. I’ll tell you
that. We don’t need you to fight our battles for us. What we need is for the white community to align
with us. Stand up, be about what you’re talking about. Sometimes it means that you’re going to have to
have the conversation with grandpa.
Lana (15:03):
Yeah, yeah. It’s going to be uncomfortable. It means
Maria Michelle’lee (15:05):
You’re going to have, yeah, yeah. You got to be willing to get uncomfortable. This is not a time for
people to sit back and whatever. I mean, there’s been a lot of riots going on and there’s pretty sure I’ve
seen it on social media where the Bipo community was stepping back and we’re like, yes, you see this
Roe versus Wade thing watching because this is what it feels like for us on a constant, not just the fact of
being a woman, but being a black woman, being a brown woman, being an indigenous woman, an Asian
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woman, all of that. Now we are, yes, we’re standing, but we’re standing back and we’re like, you guys go
to work now because over here we’re getting tired. So you guys go to work for us now.
Lana (15:55):
What can we as white women with privilege in business do to make a difference? What is the
fundamental thing that we can stand up and make a difference to the lives of BIPOC Women, men,
children.
Maria Michelle’lee (16:11):
Yeah. I would have to say content creation One, give us our accolades, pay us what we’re worth. Stop
using us as a trending talent. Mm-hmm. Use us because we’re really good, you know get our services
rather because we’re really good at what we do. Did you know I do a lot of diversity, equity, inclusion
within the beauty space, and did you know that your black consumers out shop white women in
cosmetics? Did you know that we out shop by almost 12%? We’re also the trendsetters when it comes
to new beauty palettes and all of that.
Lana (17:00):
But you don’t see that reflected in the branding.
Maria Michelle’lee (17:05):
Right? So
Lana (17:06):
Let’s start there. So
Maria Michelle’lee (17:09):
If don’t just bring us on the panel because, oh, okay. May I be real with you guys? Absolutely.
Lana (17:18):
Absolutely.
Maria Michelle’lee (17:20):
This is not a checklist. It’s not a checklist. Don’t be doing all the d e I things as a checklist. You have to
live it, eat it, and breathe it. I cannot tell you how it chaps my ass. Every time when some, a company
gets a person from the BIPOC community to do a little something something, but then yet the privilege
and the bias is still all over the place. And I’m here to tell you that we’re watching, we’re doing our
homework. We’ll go behind the scenes, we’ll call you up and ask the questions to see how real, raw and
authentic you are with being an ally with us.
(18:12):
Because if it were your child that was being hung, if it was your child that was being, or cousin or aunt or
mom or grandmother that was you find you found their bodies being dug up in the grave, how would
you feel? Why don’t you just put on our shoes? Why don’t you wear our coat for a while? And every
community within the BIPOC community is going to have a different experience, but we’re all singing the
same song. So if you want to align with us, get ready to be real with us. We’re not a checkbox. This is not
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a checkbox and we’re not a trend and we’re not something that you can hide behind either, just so that
when other companies are looking at you or social media ads or opportunities are looking to see how
diverse you are, we’re like, you’re not greenwashing us. You’re not using us to greenwash for
greenwashing. Right. You guys, you, you know about Yeah.
Lana (19:19):
Real talk. No, I I’m so glad. Absolutely. I’m so glad you brought that up. We actually have a conversation
all the time with the sister brand, with wy, women wellbeing. We talk about how can we be more
inclusive? How can we have more women of colour? But the problem is that I think for a lot of
businesses, they’re afraid not to check a box. So you’re saying come in, do more than just have the
conversation. Align yourself. Yeah.
Maria Michelle’lee (19:49):
And have, for me, when I do the coaching, because it’s not just in beauty that I do the coaching. I do it
for a lot of small to medium businesses. And the reason why I have this laser focus for smaller to
medium businesses is because I want to that come as you are. I want that round table talk. I want to
remember your name. I want to be able to step in and I want to be, I want it to set the platform as it’s a
safe place to have the conversation. I mean, sometimes when we have nothing against the men, but
when we’re only seeing white men at the top that have been in certain positions way too long, it’s really
hard to be shaking doors and knocking down walls and what have you. And so I’m working with smaller
groups. I want it to be safe so that you can ask the questions. Yeah, ask me the questions. I’ll give you
the answers. I’ll give you where you need to go so that you can do your own homework. Because I’m not
to cheat you,
Lana (21:01):
I was going to say, you may educate, but you’re not going to hand it to them on a silver platter.
Maria Michelle’lee (21:07):
No.
Laura (21:08):
But first and foremost, you create those connections in order for the safe conversations. And I think that
is a big, big valuable point there is that you put in the effort for that connection.
Maria Michelle’lee (21:18):
Yeah.
Lana (21:19):
Okay. That being said, how have your boundaries changed in the last couple of years? Your personal
boundaries? Your boundaries with business? With relationships?
Maria Michelle’lee (21:34):
There are boundaries that I set where I will say I’m not your cheat sheet. So if you’re thinking of taking
on my services to help change and become inclusive, going to go in deep. I am not here to be a cheat
sheet. I am not here to be a checklist. And I understand that some people, that’s their angle, they got to
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check it off or whatever, but I’m not sure too sure if I want to put my name on that. So I always have to
think of my name because don’t call up my name or have my face up in your campaign and you’re not
doing the work. So I have to ask the real questions. Why do you want this change? Are you changing
because you can’t get funding? Hello? Hello? Are you making the changes because you got attacked in
the past? Hello? Are you making the changes because you don’t want to be called out or something? Or
does it get you at your gut and you’re saying, I can’t do this anymore. This isn’t right. I want to make
change for myself and I want to make change for my company. So that’s a big boundary. Those are the
questions that I have to ask. Yeah,
Lana (23:00):
I love that. Oh, I know I’m sitting
Laura (23:01):
On your cheat sheet like that. I’m not, your cheat sheet is replaying in my head right now. And I think
that voice is going to continue on. Cause I think everybody can relate to that in one way or another as
well. Women, that’s women in business that’s being taken advantage of for the wrong reasons, no
matter what the reasons are. So that one’s resonating.
Lana (23:22):
Everybody’s sitting deep right now in their seats, <laugh> breathing it in, which is what needs to happen.
Maria Michelle’lee (23:31):
Maria,
Lana (23:32):
Define authenticity for us
Maria Michelle’lee (23:36):
Authenticity is showing up as having, being at peace with being perfectly imperfect, knowing that you
don’t always have the answers, knowing that you failed and you screwed up. And you can cop up to it
knowing that you’re just who you are in this moment right now. And that’s okay that you’re a person
that’s growing. I get a little bit irked sometimes when people are so in this way of seeking perfection.
Perfection to who, even if you say, well, perfection for myself, if you think about it, weddings, they may
seem perfect, but damn well behind the, oh,
Laura (24:31):
The live shit
Maria Michelle’lee (24:31):
Going down. We think about when women are having babies. We think about, oh, how picturesque it’s
going to be to have this baby. And you are in that hospital room and ain’t nothing in there looking
picturesque.
Laura (24:48):
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What birth plan <laugh>
Maria Michelle’lee (24:51):
What birth plan. Exactly. So being authentic means I am, I’m fighting for myself right now, but I’m okay.
Mm-hmm. Being in the middle, I don’t know what the heck I’m doing right now, but I’m okay being in
the middle. I’m just going to show up as myself, not what people think I should be or what my mother or
my father or whoever else brought me up and told me. We should be like it’s just be, just
Laura (25:26):
Be and be willing to. Sorry Laura. Sorry. I was going to say, Maria, do you think that social media has a
big role to play in people feeling like they have to be this perfectly imp or this perfect version and this,
what are your thoughts on
Maria Michelle’lee (25:39):
That? Everybody come on up and fill the pews because I have a sermon for you.
(25:47):
Yes. Social media plays a very big part in it. I’m taking a little bit of a sabbatical from my business social
media right now because I’m in this place of transitioning to be more of a coach. So not just beauty, but
in lifestyle your life. And for a while there I started to say I’m starting to seeing a lot of coaches pushing
their branded purses and their red bottom shoes and these pi private planes. And I’m like, that’s all crap,
right? That’s just for show. And it’s making people feel like they can never achieve that because where
the hell are you going to get a private plank? I’m like, I’m saying it’s, is it impossible? No, it’s not
impossible. But they make it sound like, I would say, I remember this girl just started six months ago.
How the hell does she showing up on private planes and all of those things.
(26:56):
I’m just like, we give too much false impression. Social media can give you too much false impression.
Therefore it increases the imposter syndrome. Therefore telling you you can’t show up the way you
need to be. What will always intrigue me, people who have seen the back of their fridge. Why? Because
I have people hello Alberta <laugh>, come for me if you want, but I’m from Alberta as well. Hello.
Making it sound like we just went through something. How long has Alberta gone through job losses?
The oil, oil and gas crashing and whatever. You can’t pretend like it didn’t happen. It happened. And a lot
of families, even ours, a lot of families have had to pay the price for that. So I mean, let’s be real. Let’s be
authentic. I’m not saying you have to put your business out there. I’m just saying, come on. Yeah. Show
up the other day. The other day you were giving your keys back to the dealership and now this week
you’re showing us a pair of red bottom shoes. Have you seen that? For all do know? Yes. And for all I
know, you painted those shoes <laugh> at the bottom, y’all went to Home Depot. Those shoes red.
(28:23):
I’m just, I love it. That’s why we, that’s why people are all up in here. We’re all messed up. I don’t know if
this is going to be on you D, but up in here because we are living for a false impression that does not
exist. Do we all like nice things? Yes, we all like nice things, but do we go through hard times? Let’s talk
about those hard times. Let’s talk about the dip story as Lisa Nichols will would say. And then let’s talk
about the rise story. The rise, because you can’t always be rising and never have a dip. Sometimes the
dip is for you to shake off and let go. And if you don’t let go the universe, God, whoever you believe in, is
going to shake some trees for you and you’re going to be forced to let it go. So we can’t be always at
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this. I’m at a hundred. You can’t be, it’s impossible because then that means you might as well be dead
and gone to see Jesus because you’ve accomplished everything
Laura (29:24):
And you’re not learning from
Maria Michelle’lee (29:25):
Anything. And you’re not learning from,
Laura (29:27):
If you’re always rising, you’re not learning.
Maria Michelle’lee (29:29):
You need those loans. So yes, to answer your question, I do feel that social media has put a lot of people
in a really, really scary place because this, they’ve bought into the falsity and I’m just trying on my, all I
can do is on my account. I’m just trying to show up as me, show up and you are as I am, and I’m not
perfect and I don’t strive to be perfect. Some days I’m rich and some days I’m poor. But I don’t give a
damn what anybody thinks because I’m just showing up as me. And
Lana (30:02):
Let’s have some compassion for human condition. Yes, at the end of the day, that is got to be first and
foremost. We are all human beings just here on this. I live tiny planet.
Laura (30:18):
I live by the saying, don’t judge what you don’t know. These people out there everywhere. You’re always
judging somebody and you don’t know them. You don’t know their story, you don’t know their life. You
don’t know what’s going on in their head, and yet you’re putting a judgment on them every single day.
So don’t judge what you don’t know.
Maria Michelle’lee (30:38):
I think people judge because they’re in that same situation, so they’d rather point the finger at them
than use the four fingers that are being point or the three fingers that are being pointed back at
themselves. That’s why we judge honestly, we judge what we don’t like. What? And Maria,
Lana (30:52):
How can our listeners find you? What we’re afraid
Maria Michelle’lee (30:55):
Of? Hey, you can find me what we’re afraid of on my business account.
Lana (31:00):
I wish you
Maria Michelle’lee (31:01):
This transcript was exported on Feb 06, 2023 – view latest version here.
WU EP10 V1 FINAL (Completed 02/06/23)
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Had Maria four more
Lana (31:02):
Hours
Maria Michelle’lee (31:02):
Somehow. I dunno
Lana (31:04):
How we’re
Maria Michelle’lee (31:05):
Going to be in touch my daily
Laura (31:06):
Blog round two,
Lana (31:07):
How can
Maria Michelle’lee (31:09):
A live Maria,
Lana (31:11):
Both girl, I was manifesting thank a
Maria Michelle’lee (31:14):
Live podcast event,
Laura (31:15):
Make some magic happen. Oh, thank you so much for being here. So thank you. If you liked our podcast
today, please go to our website. Please go to Spotify or Apple Podcast and rate and review. And
honestly, please just share this with somebody. There’s someone out there that needs to hear this
podcast today. So we would really appreciate that. And of course, as always, thank you to our pod
Father Doug Downs of Stories and Strategies. He’s always behind the scenes, making sure we sound
good.